In reading through this post it is important to keep in mind the previous posts in this series. Part 1 introduced self esteem and how to recognise it, Part 2 looked at how low self esteem develops and Part 3 looked at ‘rules and assumptions’ around low self esteem.
In this section we will look at how low self esteem and the negative core beliefs introduced in part 3 are maintained.
Negative Core Beliefs
While these are developed in our early life, as adults we continue to engage in behaviours that keep the negative beliefs we developed about ourselves alive. The way we make sense of information from the world around us, the things we do to live up to our unhelpful rules and assumptions, and particularly, our responses to certain day-to-day situations, all serve to keep our negative core beliefs going.
An important part of keeping negative core beliefs active relates to our information processing, or, how we make sense of the things that happen around us. With so much happening around us, our mind makes sense of this by choosing what we pay attention to, often this is guided by the beliefs we hold. We have a tendency to pay attention to the things we expect and interpret things in a way that is consistent with our expectations. As a result we remember things that happen in our lives that are consistent with what we believe to be true. If we consider this from the perspective of an individual with low self esteem who holds the belief that ‘My neighbours are noisy’. This belief may be based on their experience of the first night they moved into the house next door and there was a loud party that kept them awake all hours of the night. However, their belief about their neighbours, which started from an initial experience, might still
remain a few years later because of how we process information. For example if:
• you only pay attention to your neighbours at times when they are noisy, not at times when they are quiet
• you interpret any noise you hear as coming from those particular neighbours, often without checking
Therefore, whenever the topic of your neighbours comes to mind, you only remember the occasions that they have been noisy. Therefore, your original belief, “My neighbours are noisy” holds strong.
By only paying attention to negative incidents you confirm the belief that the neighbours are noisy. Interestingly it is a black and white view and there is no middle ground. Furthermore, there is no evaluation of the negative belief ‘the neighbours are noisy’ and as such there is no possibility of this belief changing. This is something that happens repeatedly for individuals with low self esteem, a negative belief is activated and the evidence gathered for the belief relatively quickly. The problem is that you seem to be always gathering evidence that supports your negative core belief, because you only ever pay attention to things and interpret things in a manner that confirms how you see yourself. In this way, your negative core beliefs are ‘self-fulfilling.’ Once they are in place, you will keep
gathering information to keep them strong, and rarely gather information to challenge and expose them as biased and inaccurate opinions of yourself.
Adapted from : Lim, L., Saulsman, L., & Nathan, P. (2005). Improving Self-Esteem. Perth, Western Australia: Centre for Clinical Interventions.
Dr Patricia Barber 